Now this one is slow going. Funny to write about someone getting zapped....but honestly, we saw that in page one already. Story should have moved beyond this....or at least shortened this to a smaller panel and given us more story.
Ron, thanks for this comment and the one yesterday! I see your point on this one and part of that can be chalked up to this being written by me ten years ago. These ten pages were meant to be part of a larger work, so the pacing is somewhat slower probably when you take it in context of ten pages. This was work on characters that I think everyone will enjoy and I wanted to share it for free to see if, when it's all over, you'd like to see these guys again in some form...It's really cool that you've taken the time to read and comment, Ron. thanks.
Once you have it in front of you, it's a lot easier to edit or revise. This would have been a cool panel to integrate into the first page somehow. Ron above has a good point--things really could have gotten going here, it'd be a perfect place to dive into the story.
Now this one is slow going. Funny to write about someone getting zapped....but honestly, we saw that in page one already. Story should have moved beyond this....or at least shortened this to a smaller panel and given us more story.
ReplyDeleteRon, thanks for this comment and the one yesterday! I see your point on this one and part of that can be chalked up to this being written by me ten years ago. These ten pages were meant to be part of a larger work, so the pacing is somewhat slower probably when you take it in context of ten pages. This was work on characters that I think everyone will enjoy and I wanted to share it for free to see if, when it's all over, you'd like to see these guys again in some form...It's really cool that you've taken the time to read and comment, Ron. thanks.
ReplyDeleteOnce you have it in front of you, it's a lot easier to edit or revise. This would have been a cool panel to integrate into the first page somehow. Ron above has a good point--things really could have gotten going here, it'd be a perfect place to dive into the story.
ReplyDelete